11 Feb. 2011, It is the beginning of this story.
I lost my brother because of desese in last Feb. 2011, and Japan received a lot of damage from the earthquakes and tsunami (Touhoku, Hgashi-Nihon Daishinsai) in the following month. I had no time to mourn the death of my brother, because these Japanese tragic disasters made me even feel much more sad.
My sister-in-law ran away with money, I was involved in an inheritance dispute with her and her family. I couldn't believe anyone even my reratives. They were obsessed with greed, and spread a spiteful rumor to neighborhood. I was so exhausted and I felt sometimes hard to live against such people. I wanted to be free, I didn't want to think anything, anymore... I just needed rest and peace of mind.
"After mourning period, one more time going to Seattle whrere I had homestayed in my youth for the first time in my life."
This was the only one emortional support to keep going on.
Nobody knows about me without my host family in there, nobody blame nor hart me. I didn't want to be here, in Japan where is in flurry of Japanese words. That's so noizy and bothersome. I just want to be alone for a while in Seattle. I know I'm too selfish! But I couldn't change my mind.
After mourning period and everything had done, I went to Seattle where my second hometown.
At the moment I arrived at Seattle, I felt free and didn't need anything. I had felt and thought that I needed a rest untill I arrived there. But I didn't need it anymore. I was filled with something. To tell the truth, I had crossed my mind to try to finish my life in Seattle. I wanted to die... Now that I've given it some thought, I think it was so stupid of me to think that. I sometimes thought where or how I would do... Jump off? or jump into a traffic? I had almost same feeling as a Millionaire who was acted by Matt Bomer in the the movie "IN TIME" utill I met Chris. Nothing especially to do without ZUMBA exercise and meet my host family but just went look around, drink Starbucks Coffee. I decided to do everything what I want in Seattle. And then, I would get my answer about myself, my life in the last day.
When I went to see a movie at Pacific Place Center in such strange feelings and thinking. I noticed that Chris was raising a donation on the other side of the corner. It was the first encounter with Chris.
All most all people passed by him without careing.
I had seen him twice or three times before and was same as they did untill the day. Although I thought it was reality, I somehow could not ignore him. His attitude was different from other people who were collecting money. When I saw him picking money which he dropped, I felt I could not leave him. I even thought to give everything to him as the Millionaire in the movie. hahaha.
It was raining, and so cold on the day, I bought and brought a cup of coffee and muffin to him with $1 donation. After then, passing him without saying, I heard his shout on my back "WOW! It's a cup of Coffee!! Oh! Thank you!!" I was a little bit happy but felt blash and sad because I had thought about my death. But I still now remember his shout.
I did not decide what to see yet, but decided to see "Chronicle" when I found a visual poster of it. Because all the location was in Seattle.
"Chronicle" it means time line, the story of life (history), memory, and so on.
During the movie, the climax scene was resembeled my feeling in Japan and felt sad. It was that headed down the path of destruction. He was dead in the movie but eventually, he might be saved mentally by his friend.
Well, I found him again after watched the movie. He was still there waiting for me and he came to say "Thank you". Having talked with him for a while, I felt somehow miserable or sad again. Because he was on the way to look for a job to Alaska and raised money enough to go there. He needed a job to earn money to live and go, too. But it was difficult to find a job for him, because he might be a migrant worker. No place to sleep, no work. He tried to go to a charch to find a job and place to sleep. But he turned down by age limit. It was under 25. and he was 28 at that time. Therefore he had slept under a bridge every day. Having heard his life, his dream, his promise with his little princess (doughter), I realised that I was so sutupid and going to loose my mind. He never gave up his life even if it seems full of pain in Ohio. (I won't write down the details because of his privacy)
I thought I could do something for him, but in fact he noteiced me that I was going to loose my mind and led me to the right direction and saved my life during the conversation. And then, I decided to help and support him in spirit of "Ichigo-ichie" during my staying in Seattle..
I lost my brother because of desese in last Feb. 2011, and Japan received a lot of damage from the earthquakes and tsunami (Touhoku, Hgashi-Nihon Daishinsai) in the following month. I had no time to mourn the death of my brother, because these Japanese tragic disasters made me even feel much more sad.
My sister-in-law ran away with money, I was involved in an inheritance dispute with her and her family. I couldn't believe anyone even my reratives. They were obsessed with greed, and spread a spiteful rumor to neighborhood. I was so exhausted and I felt sometimes hard to live against such people. I wanted to be free, I didn't want to think anything, anymore... I just needed rest and peace of mind.
"After mourning period, one more time going to Seattle whrere I had homestayed in my youth for the first time in my life."
This was the only one emortional support to keep going on.
Nobody knows about me without my host family in there, nobody blame nor hart me. I didn't want to be here, in Japan where is in flurry of Japanese words. That's so noizy and bothersome. I just want to be alone for a while in Seattle. I know I'm too selfish! But I couldn't change my mind.
After mourning period and everything had done, I went to Seattle where my second hometown.
At the moment I arrived at Seattle, I felt free and didn't need anything. I had felt and thought that I needed a rest untill I arrived there. But I didn't need it anymore. I was filled with something. To tell the truth, I had crossed my mind to try to finish my life in Seattle. I wanted to die... Now that I've given it some thought, I think it was so stupid of me to think that. I sometimes thought where or how I would do... Jump off? or jump into a traffic? I had almost same feeling as a Millionaire who was acted by Matt Bomer in the the movie "IN TIME" utill I met Chris. Nothing especially to do without ZUMBA exercise and meet my host family but just went look around, drink Starbucks Coffee. I decided to do everything what I want in Seattle. And then, I would get my answer about myself, my life in the last day.
When I went to see a movie at Pacific Place Center in such strange feelings and thinking. I noticed that Chris was raising a donation on the other side of the corner. It was the first encounter with Chris.
All most all people passed by him without careing.
I had seen him twice or three times before and was same as they did untill the day. Although I thought it was reality, I somehow could not ignore him. His attitude was different from other people who were collecting money. When I saw him picking money which he dropped, I felt I could not leave him. I even thought to give everything to him as the Millionaire in the movie. hahaha.
It was raining, and so cold on the day, I bought and brought a cup of coffee and muffin to him with $1 donation. After then, passing him without saying, I heard his shout on my back "WOW! It's a cup of Coffee!! Oh! Thank you!!" I was a little bit happy but felt blash and sad because I had thought about my death. But I still now remember his shout.
I did not decide what to see yet, but decided to see "Chronicle" when I found a visual poster of it. Because all the location was in Seattle.
"Chronicle" it means time line, the story of life (history), memory, and so on.
During the movie, the climax scene was resembeled my feeling in Japan and felt sad. It was that headed down the path of destruction. He was dead in the movie but eventually, he might be saved mentally by his friend.
Well, I found him again after watched the movie. He was still there waiting for me and he came to say "Thank you". Having talked with him for a while, I felt somehow miserable or sad again. Because he was on the way to look for a job to Alaska and raised money enough to go there. He needed a job to earn money to live and go, too. But it was difficult to find a job for him, because he might be a migrant worker. No place to sleep, no work. He tried to go to a charch to find a job and place to sleep. But he turned down by age limit. It was under 25. and he was 28 at that time. Therefore he had slept under a bridge every day. Having heard his life, his dream, his promise with his little princess (doughter), I realised that I was so sutupid and going to loose my mind. He never gave up his life even if it seems full of pain in Ohio. (I won't write down the details because of his privacy)
I thought I could do something for him, but in fact he noteiced me that I was going to loose my mind and led me to the right direction and saved my life during the conversation. And then, I decided to help and support him in spirit of "Ichigo-ichie" during my staying in Seattle..
Ichigo-ichie
it is a Japanese spiritual expression, means once-in-a-lifetime encounter
it is a Japanese spiritual expression, means once-in-a-lifetime encounter
to be continued...
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